Here are Michiana Weddings we strongly recommend hiring a wedding coordinator to assist you with the wedding. But not all wedding coordinators are created equal. So taking an example I found on the internet today, let's learn some things about a wedding day.

A wedding coordinator, wedding planner or wedding producer do many things. During the time leading up to the wedding they maintain your budgets, recommend vendors that fit your personality, offer advice, impart their knowledge and experience, advise and so much more. During the day they are there to ride herd on your vendors (and be the heavy if needed so the bride is can enjoy herself), assure that you are where you need to be on time and handle the little problems that may crop up during the day and implement back up plans if need be. They are there to make sure that your wedding day experience is as stress free and magical as you imagined it to be. But not all planners are equal and hopefully with the example we have found our readers can learn and be better prepared to find a wedding coordinator that will meet all their needs.

As anyone who has had experience with Notre Dame, you know that Notre Dame has it’s rules period. Live with them or leave is usually your only choice. That is no more true than for a Saturday Wedding in the Notre Dame Basilica. You must abide by the rules at the Basilica and so must your vendors, with four weddings a Saturday going through there, there are no excuses!

A Wedding Coordinators, if knowledgeable and trained can see and anticipate potential problems that may crop up and not only head them off but save you stress and raw emotion. They also know the vendors they have worked with before and can recommend ones that will be team players and more concerned with you the customer than their own egos. Especially in a destination situation that is Notre Dame, listening to your wedding coordinator about who they recommend as vendors is very important. You need someone who works within the restrictions and as will be shown below vendors outside of the area may not ” get it” .

Our example: This morning I was doing my regular twitter wedding surfing when I found a link to this blog post . Honestly I am in shock! Shocked! I read this blog entry as a complete failure on this coordinator’s part to do her job properly and to have the proper planning in place!

Let’s look at a couple of the major points: poo-pooed the timeline and kept insisting to the bride that she didn’t need any timeline; she was the bride and they could not start the ceremony without her.

Here is where a local vendor that the coordinator knew and was aware of the situation that is the Basilica would have been a good send. But since the customer was set on their favorite out of town vendor there are things that can be done.

I see this as the first breakdown of communication between the hair stylist and the wedding coordinator. At this point, when the attitude of this hair stylist first was on display the coordinator should have immediately taken steps to firmly point out that it was not a question of when the bride would arrive, it was a question of if she would even get married, if she was late. The coordinator’s job is to do what the bride or family otherwise would have to do, be the heavy! I have heard of coordinators picking up the hair spray, and brush and shooing the entire lot into the limo for completion at the destination. They stylist may have an ego but the coordinator’s job is to ride herd on the vendors, to make sure everything gets done properly and on time.

However, I can’t shake the question, why did it reach this point in the middle of the preparations ? Why wasn’t this attitude and the need to be on time made clear long before the day of the wedding to this stylist and not the day of! That is part of the wedding coordinator’s job, inform vendors of problems they may face or requirements they need to meet before they even step foot in the door!

When I got firm with the hairdresser insisting that he needed to hurry, I got the same “poo-poo” and the same ‘they can’t start the ceremony without her’. There is a very good answer to this: No they won’t start without her, they will cancel it and she won’t be getting married. Obviously firm wasn’t firm enough. I was in a wedding once where the coordinator kicked the groom and his groomsmen into the limo in their underwear to get them to the church on time. The men weren’t happy about it but after the wedding my friend the bride, was very thankful for her guidance!

Also, where was the backup plan!?! Shouldn’t it have been kicking in as soon as it was obvious that things were heading to a melt down. You hire a coordinator for their knowledge and trouble shooting abilities, none are displayed in this tale. To me this is where a backup plan should have been kicking in. Call in a local, pull the stylist out of the room and read them the riot act. Do what needs to be done to get the bride where she needs to be, now! Why is this coordinator complaining that her time line wasn’t being followed by the client, when she wasn’t doing her job! “Timelines aren’t in place to make you miserable, they are there so that your wedding takes place the way you (and your venue) had planned.” That is wrong! The coordinator is there to enforce and execute the preplanning and handle problems that may crop up, not to beg the bride that she needs to follow the time line. Sometimes a firm hand is needed with the customer too. In the end they’ll be thankful for it, it is after all what they are paying for, to make sure their money doesn’t go to waste.

I find this the saddest. but not before the bride was in tears, her mother was visibly upset . Such a sad situation. Over the few years I have been involved with this industry I have spoken to a lot of wedding coordinators. Lou Barry, Cynthia Basker, Weddings Inc in Chicago and many others, all top notch wedding planners and coordinators. The one common thing they all agree on, if the bride ends up in emotional distress on the wedding day that isn’t a product of her own doing and is due to vendors then they have failed in their jobs. Wedding coordination is not easy, in fact it is very difficult. One Chicago coordinator once told me they are the shrink, the financial planner, the creative designer, the fountain of knowledge, the trouble shooter, the time watch, the heavy and so on. The biggest job of the coordinator is to deal with the problems that crop up behind the scenes, get them handled and never let the happy couple and their families even know that there was a problem if possible.

It is About Communication!

I see several failures in this blog entry. The first, the belief that a time line is some sort of answer all. Time lines are really only a backup for faulty memories, a planning tool handed out days ahead of time so everyone is on the same page the day of. Something that fixes in place all the planning that had gone on before. Trial runs, meetings and phone conferences are much more important than time lines! It is the wedding coordinator’s job to make sure the time line is followed.

Make requirements known ahead of time in the planning. Obviously it was not made clear to the stylist ahead of time, at least not enough to sink in, how important it was to get the bride to the church on time. If the poo-pooh attitude had been displayed, in the planning process, then steps could have been taken to head it off before the wedding day. But this should have been headed off long before it became a day of problem!

Failure to plan properly: My assumption is there was only one stylist and from the blog entry that is impression, in the planning process this should have been fixed! Cynthia Basker of Celebrate Events recommends what she calls a bridal stylist for the bride only . Occasionally this bridal stylist will work on the mom or a flower girl, but his or her main purpose is to get the bride styled to perfection and only the bride so that she is on time. Depending on the needs of the rest of the bridal party one stylist to every two women is a good ratio. Obviously if there was only one stylist for the whole bridal party as this blog entry implies then failure for proper planning was the problem!

Don’t stress out the client, needlessly. The bride shouldn’t have been in tears if this had been planned out properly by the coordinator ahead of time, but at the same time the coordinator should have done everything possible to handle this as discretely as possible. But with the begging that a time line is your friend in the post, to the brides, I have a feeling the coordinator was in over her head.

A time line on paper is not a substitute to proper planning and communication!

Our recommendation at Notre Dame Weddings, hire a coordinator knowledgeable about weddings in the Basilica. Interview them! Find out how firm they are with vendors and how they run the day (note: they don’t just hand out a time line and then complain about the vendor or client not following it). Ask them what they would do if faced with the situation portrayed by this wedding coordinator.

Labels: Basilica of the Sacred Heart, Notre Dame, wedding coordinator

Here is an interesting question sent in by one of our readers about having a tent wedding.

Dear Amy,

Where have you been?

Just thought I would drop a note about a wedding I attended this past Saturday. It was hot! We were at a tent wedding, beautiful day, but the couple had chosen to set the tent up on a blacktop parkinglot. You could see the yellow of the parking spaces, even. It was a beautiful day but under the tent the heat was unbearable. My date and I left as quickly as we felt comfortable doing.

I have another friend getting married and she wants to use a tent. I will be the maid of honor, do you have any suggestions on how to avoid this problem that I can tell her. This reception was horrible.

Sincerely,
Sweat Drenched Guest

Dear Drenched,

I am so sorry to hear about your bad experience, it is never good when guests suffer from poor planning on someone's part. I am not all that familiar with tent weddings but I contacted our favorite wedding coordinator, Cynthia Basker of Celebrated Events who specializes in events held under a tent and she says blacktop was the absolute worst place you could place a tent. A field or grass area is preferable or a concrete surface, but not heat retaining tar. However, if this was the only logistical option, air conditioning the tent is essential, or at the very least, have high velocity standing fans (both can be rented through your local rental company) to help move the air to keep the heat from building up inside the tent. Also a sub-floor could have been built, complete with carpeting, made especially for tented affairs, not only to hide those unsightly parking space marks but to keep the heat down. Another option, although perhaps not ideal for a wedding, are 'misting units' which disperse a fine mist, powered by high velocity fans. Tents by their nature can get very hot, but, there are numerous ways to help cool your tent and your guests, so everyone stays until the last dance is over.

My advise, hire a wedding coordinator, like Cynthia who knows what they are doing and specializes in tent weddings. Not only will they know the pitfalls and benefits of this or that but they can save you money because they will know exactly what to do and what to get. Tent weddings are a different situation from a pre-standing banquet hall and having an expert opinion will go a long way into making the day perfect for you and your guests.

Where have I been? My sister's wedding is next month and we are into overdrive and she is pulling her hair out. :-) I love weddings but when it is your own sister. I just wish she'd let me talk about it online.

-Amy

Labels: reader question, tent wedding, wedding coordinator

Recently I had an opportunity to sit down with Cynthia Basker of Celebrated Events fame. Cynthia has been a wedding producer or if you prefer, wedding coordinator in South Bend since the late 1980's, producing some of the most lavish, beautiful and unique weddings seen in the Michiana area. We have raved about her style and ideas in the past, here is Cynthia in her own words:

1.) Describe a Celebrated Events wedding.

Our goal for every wedding Celebrated Events has the privilege of being a part of, is that it directly reflects the personality and style of the every one of our brides and grooms. When I hear guests say, 'this is so them' during the event/wedding itself, I know we have done our job.

2.) What are the 3 adjectives that describe your wedding style?
Effective, efficient and experienced.

3.) What do you consider the most memorable event you have produced yet?
That's a tough one to answer...there is a moment during almost every wedding/event that we produce that takes on a magical quality, where time seems to come to a standstill, whether its that moment the bride is alone with her father just before walking down the aisle, or when the bride and groom are on the dance floor during their first dance...its about the emotion in the air for me, not necessarily the elements that surround those moments.

4.) Who or what do you attribute your success to?
I don't think it is specifically a who or a what, but a collection of who's and what's. Along with just plain old fashioned hard work and having a true passion for what I do. I really do not believe you can succeed in the event industry unless you are willing to commit to the project, no matter how much work is involved, and have a passion for it. There have been many people along the way, in this industry that have lent me a hand when I've needed it, for which, I am deeply grateful. I believe that if you surround yourself with professionals from whom you can learn from, you cannot help but be pulled up to their level, so I've always tried to seek out others in my field that I admire and learn from them and their experience.

5.)Please talk about the current trends for weddings in Michiana.
Invitations - Brides are much more open to having color on their invitations, whether it be the paper itself, or even the ink the text is printed in. For instance, the paper may be a cream, but the text is done in a bright grass green, or the paper may be a combination of brown and lavender, with the text in white. Also, the 'pocket' design is hugely popular. This design incorporates 'pockets' in the invitation itself which hold response cards, reception cards, map cards or direction cards, etc.
Tuxedo vs. Suit - Grooms are often opting to wear tailored suits, rather than the traditional tuxedo. I think this trend is especially appropriate when hosting an outdoor affair.
Transportation - Providing transportation for your guests to and from the ceremony and reception, especially when the bulk of the guest list is comprised of out of towners. This is usually in the form of a motor coach service and prevents guests from getting lost, or, driving after having 'celebrated' a little too much at the reception.
Natural elements - I am beginning to see a bit of a departure from the traditional ballroom wedding look, to one that is more organic and botanical in nature. For instance, instead of using gold or silver chivari chairs, using the natural fruitwood color chivari. Instead of using strictly floral for arrangements, incorporating fruit, berries, branches and other elements found in nature.

6.) What do you love most about being a wedding producer?
The ability to use my organizational and creative gifts and skills to bring together two people and their families for one of life's most cherished moments. Its an honor.

7.) What piece of advice would you give to every bride and groom for their wedding?
Once your wedding day arrives, just let go - let go and concentrate on being fully present in each moment of the day. You've planned for this day long and hard and to the best of your abilities, trust in the plans you've made and enjoy the fruits of your labor! Its true, what everyone says, that the day just flies by, so please, enjoy it.

Image copyright Peter Thurin

Labels: Cynthia Basker, wedding coordinator, wedding trends

If you are a bride your wedding day is something you have dreamed about since you were five years old. A wedding can be stressful, a large amount of money is riding on it along with your dreams and hopes. To reduce stress as much as possible and fulfill all your wishes, you need to assemble a winning team of vendors and service professionals when planning your wedding day!

The success of a wedding and making your dreams come true depends on assembling a team of professionals that offer their best at all times, communicates and leave their egos at home. Professionals aren’t just part of their own little area of your wedding: DJs need to do more than just play the music, they are the ones with the microphone and speakers. The best man’s toast can not be delivered if there is music playing for people dancing. The cinematographer and the photographer will miss documenting your garter and bouquet tosses if the disc jockey does not announce it. Does the cake artist know your florist will be placing flowers on the cake? Does the caterer know you have a color palette or theme? Has your wedding producer or coordinator given everyone a schedule of events?

At Michiana Weddings we recommend hiring a wedding coordinator, wedding producer or wedding designer to help fulfill your wedding day dreams with a minimum of stress and a wealth of ideas. A wedding coordinator is the equivalent of a team captain and your vendors and service professionals are the team. Most important involving a wedding coordinator before hiring your other vendors and service providers can greatly reduce the stress level and improve the success of your wedding. Coordinators generally recommend those they know perform as team players. Their reputation ride on those they recommend, so working from their recommendations can benefit you greatly.

If a wedding coordinator, wedding producer or wedding designer is outside of your budget limitations then assembling a group of vendors that act as a winning team for you is your task. In this situation, we recommend that you carefully interview the prospective vendors and read their contracts in full. Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions about how the vendor deals with other service providers. Look for vendors that listen to are interested in your plans and are not telling you what you should do. If contracts put restrictions on other vendors who’s contracts they are not signatory then this is probably not a team player. The vendors first concern should not be themselves, but fulfilling your dreams and desires!

Cooperative teamwork will insure that you get what you have always dreamed up. Interview carefully, ask questions and assemble a killer wedding team for your wedding day!

Labels: planning your wedding, wedding coordinator